This is now the tenth blog post in my series on academia and parenthood, and finally, the inevitable has happened: I have returned to work.
My son turned 9 months old yesterday, and I’ve been back at work for almost two weeks. This was always the plan: nine months seemed like a good balance in terms of minimising months without my income, but also meaning that the transition to childcare wouldn’t be so abrupt. As my partner is a teacher, he could manage the first few weeks, and then childcare provision would begin with the start of the new school year. I hoped this would mean my head would be more firmly in the game, feeling able to go into the office without worrying about my 9-month-old suddenly being entrusted to strangers.
Now, I’m somewhat conflicted as to whether I made the right decision. It turns out that a 9-month-old is still pretty young, and is changing and developing all the time! When I was pregnant, 9 months leave seemed the popular choice amongst the other attendees of our antenatal class, but that very much changed as time went on: in reality, I’ve been one of the first to go back, the only others being those who were self-employed. Would I have been better placed taking those extra 3 months to which I was entitled, making the most of the time I could have with him? Last week, my husband showed me a video of our son working on his crawling. Finally, he had figured out that he could use both of his hands to speed along the process, so was looking slightly less like a zombie! It was great, but it was also a little sad: I wasn’t there for it.
In my decision-making around leave, I was probably a little optimistic in my efforts to reduce financial losses. Childcare in London is extremely expensive, and although my borough does offer subsidised nursery provision for those on low incomes, the waiting lists are understandably very long. As such, for each of the 24 months remaining on my PhD, we will use savings in order to afford only part-time childcare. Full-time would never be achievable. As such, putting off a return to work for another three months really wouldn’t have made much of a difference, financially.
I’ve mentioned before that we don’t have family nearby – my parents living somewhat distantly on a remote island off the coast of New Zealand – meaning that the childcare we pay for is the childcare we get. I’m making the most of the school holidays by being in the office as much as possible, getting as much as I can done in the next couple of weeks, in the knowledge that from September I will only have the three clear days when my son is with a childminder, plus time I can find during naps, evenings and weekends. A few weeks ago I felt intimidated by the prospect; panicked that at the end of my three years of study I’ll be nowhere near completion. Now, however, I’m feeling optimistic! The day I returned to work it was truly as if I had never left, and I know that my work rate is high – I can get a lot done in not a lot of time. Two years is a long time, and I’ll find the time from somewhere.
It would be easy to get all doom-and-gloom about it, but I’m truly thankful to be working in academia right now. Prior to my return to academic life in 2021, I was working for the Church of England. In the role I was in, maternity entitlement was at the legal minimum, flexible working was not an option, and my salary (believe it or not) was lower than my PhD stipend. Were I still in that position, I don’t know how I could realistically have returned to work or stayed living in London – a city that may not be where I grew up, but which now is very much my home. In my current situation, it might not be financially viable to work a conventional 9-5, but I do have the flexibility to find a schedule that can work for my project and for my family – something for which I am incredibly grateful. The past two weeks, I’ve been making the most of the summer lull, getting into the office before 8am, so as to be home at 4:30, to squeeze in a couple of hours with the family before baby bedtime. I don’t want to miss out.
It may be tricky, over the coming months and years, to be as present in both of my roles at I need to be – that of a PhD student, that of a parent – but I’m inclined to think that for now I am ideally placed. Perhaps within academia I really can enjoy the best of both worlds!
Author
Emily Spencer is a PhD Student at University College London looking at improving how GPs communicate with people with dementia and their family carers about their future care. Emily previous had a 5 year career break to pursue a career as a musician, and has previously undertaken research on improving the care people with dementia receive from their GP practice, as well as end-of-life and palliative care provision in the community. Emily is also a new mum and will be writing about her experiences navigating motherhood and a research career.
You’re doing so well to balance both Em 🙂 so happy that you get to spend time with your family and continue your research