So, how should you communicate requests? The key is in the delicate balance of delivery and timing — ensure that the other person comprehends that your key interest is to gain information that will allow you to grow.

Here are some of my favourite ways to articulate a request. You will typically ask these questions towards the end of the first conversation:

  • • “If I wanted to join your organization/industry/sector, what should be my first steps?” or “How can I position myself for success here?” These questions elicit specific tips that can be used to advance your career. They also plant the seed that you might be interested in seeking employment at their organization, fuelling the idea of you working together in the future.
  • • “Is there anyone in your organization/department/field that you would feel comfortable introducing me to?” This is one of the most important questions, because it allows you to grow your network immediately. From the other party’s point of view, you are legitimately aiming to get to know their community. And the beauty of this question’s structure is that it is incredibly respectful. You are not demanding that they give you a referral — rather, you are respecting their boundaries and giving them permission to decline without any concern for hurt feelings.
  • • “How can we collaborate?” Don’t be shy! If you see alignment between your interests, skills and personalities, say so. When you ask to serve, you uncover hidden career opportunities.

Always add value

Don’t forget to consider what you can provide and then offer to assist. Even if you are unsure of what value you can add at the moment, the act of conveying that you have their interests in mind goes a long way to solidifying the mutually beneficial nature of the partnership. I almost always suggest wrapping up informational interviews with prompts such as:

  • “Is there anyone in my network that I can introduce you to?”
  • “How can I help you?”
  • “What can I do to support your efforts?”

End with a call to action

Given that you are aiming to cultivate a relationship over time and not just have a one-and-done dialogue, always end with an action item that ensures that the momentum doesn’t fizzle out. An easy one is to suggest a follow-up meeting in the next few weeks or months to continue the conversation.

You also have several immediate items on your to-do list — sending a thank-you e-mail, adding a reminder if something specific is requested (they might ask you to send them your new Nature paper, or your CV when you finish your postdoctoral fellowship), and creating a calendar entry to engage again in the future. This last task can be tied to a milestone date when there is a natural reason to reach out, such as a conference that you are both going to. Around one month before, you can e-mail them, enquire if they will be attending and suggest that you meet for lunch while you’re both in the same city.

Remember: the informational interview is just a single conversation in what will hopefully be a long-term association. It sets the tone for the relationship and can even blossom into a friendship. When you network with honour and authenticity, everyone wins.